Dissonant
by Vendetta's Echo
Summary: Jack reflects after his unforgettable adventure with Elizabeth and Will, Elizabeth does the same, and now...? (Newly Added). Jack/Elizabeth. Only slightly angsty.
1. Jack

Disclaimer: The storyline and characters of the short fic do not belong to me. They are sole property of their rightful owners. I repeat, not me. ^^ Also, a large portion of the note later featured in the fic is a collection of lyrics from various Goo GooDolls songs (Sympathy; Think About Me; Big Machine; Here Is Gone; Its Over). They also don't belong to me.  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow had been at sea on the Black Pearl for half a year since he had last seen her. Six long months he had spent away from the girl and the boy as well. The boy, who well preferred to be called a man, he had come to like, but now resented. There were many dissonant emotions churning within the pirate that made him almost tremulous within. He made sure that no one, not even Gibbs, knew of this inner turmoil, and he did a good job of covering it.  
  
As he sat in the hull of the pearl, his head leaning against a barrel and his feet propped up by a small crate. He craved a drink, to be drunk and wash away his thoughts, which were possibly more focused of his former cohorts than ever before, but there was nothing left on the ship to drink. They had been through a terrible storm. Most of their rum had been tossed overboard by the ravaging winds and vicious waters, and by this point the remaining stash had already been devoured.  
  
His mind although dabbling upon the thought of his beloved rum, continued to fixate on thoughts of Elizabeth Swann, who was, most likely, now referred to as Mrs. William Turner. This deduction roused a haphazard frown from Jack, for he knew deep down that the night he spent on the deserted island with Elizabeth was something that he could never forget, even if he wanted to. Of course, he had done more than kiss her, but it was much different than anything with any of the other women he had ever met. He should have talked to her about it; that he knew. But he was forgetting one important thing; he was Captain Jack Sparrow! He was not supposed to feel attached to anything, or anyone.  
  
He pushed himself off of the ground and crossed the wooden planks that formed the floor of the hull. He sat himself down at a desk in the corner and pulled a piece of parchment out of the top drawers. He grabbed the quill from the ink pot that was placed precariously near the edge of the desk and began scrawling with it on the paper.  
  
Elizabeth,  
  
It has been far too long, I know, but this is my apology. I am  
killing my self from the inside out because I have never told you what  
I should have. All my fears had pushed you out. I wished for things  
that I did not need, and what I am chasing will not set me free. I  
have found that it is hard to lead the life you choose, when all your  
luck has run out on you and the dreams you thought you wanted are  
coming true. It is stranger than your sympathy, which you held for all  
but me, and all the thoughts you stole from me, but I am not sure  
where I belong. No where is home and I am all wrong. I know now that I  
was not all the things I tried to make believe I was, and all the talk  
and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me. That  
night, six months ago, without knowing what I was doing, I took a lot  
of chances with my feelings, but I did not really know what you felt.  
You took it so slowly, and your eyes looked so lonely. I knew then  
that you were thinking of me. I thought that everything was all wrong,  
stealing the girl that Will loved away from him. Where the hell did I  
think I was? My head was filled with doubt, but at the moment it was  
easy to forget. You must have choked at first on the regrets. Who the  
hell did I think I was? For so long, I have had a head that refuses to  
let me sleep. Fiction was the only way you were dealing, and you  
turned your pretty head when it became real. That night was your  
secret that I cannot keep. You saw a little stranger in your mirror.  
The little girl you never knew was what you feared. All you want is  
something I cannot be, which is why I left you with Will. He can be  
more than what you need and what you want. I can picture you now. Your  
world is moving way too fast. Nothing you experienced was real, and it  
did not last. I am in love, but you probably neglect to care. Turn  
your anger into lust. I am still here, but you will not trust at all  
that I am still waiting. Love and sex and loneliness, you took what  
was yours and left the rest. I will survive, even though I am torn and  
pieces, seemingly blind and waiting for you. I am still in love with  
all my sins. Where you stopped was only where I began. Living like a  
house on fire, I hope what you fear is what you desire. It is hard for  
me to deal, but I still love the way you felt. You were this angry  
little girl, drowning both literally and figuratively in this petty  
world. I was the one to run to. You and I have something, but it is  
all to me and then it is nothing to you. I have my defenses when it  
comes to my intentions for you. We woke up in the breakdown of the  
things we never thought we could be. I saw the hint of desire in your  
eyes, so I do not want to hear that it did not exist. I may be too  
late, but remember that I am not the one who you should fear. Darling,  
I thought I lost you somewhere, but you were never really ever there  
at all. I wanted to be all you need, but I do not have a solution for  
what could never be. You were not the answer. So, I suppose I must  
forget that I ever thought it was you. I do not need the fallout of  
all the past that is in between us. I am holding on, but all my lies  
will not be enough to keep you here. It is over to you, but I cannot  
find the answers when you are gone. And after you receive this letter,  
you will not find the answers where you are. I think I need you now.  
This is not easy to admit, but no one needs to know, not even Will. I  
will not tear you down in order to get into the world you wanted. It  
is bordering on confusing, but no one can believe in things that never  
change. My dearest Elizabeth, I know not if or when I will see you  
next, but I am still here, waiting.  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Captain Jack Sparrow  
  
He sat back in his chair, staring down at the letter to the woman (he was now ready to admit that she was one) who unknowingly held the key to his heart. His face contorted at that very idea, and he gazed at the writing with a peculiar look of disgust. It was nothing like he had ever written before. In fact, he had to wonder if he had ever written anything. He realized that, yes, he had to have written something, otherwise it would not have been possible for him to have written this, unless he had articulated it to someone – wait, his mind was babbling. Getting back on track, he knew that he could not possibly send this letter to Elizabeth. It was pathetic. He was Captain Jack Sparrow, and he was most certainly man enough to deliver his message in person.  
  
He snatched the parchment off of the desk and crumpled it into a ball between the palms of his hands. With a flick of his wrist he accurately tossed it out of the small hole in the ship, a hole he had remembered to have been formed during his very adventure with Elizabeth. A smirk played upon his face as he placed his feet on top of the desk, crossing them at the ankles. His head rolled back onto the edge of the chair, and eventually he fell asleep. 


	2. Elizabeth

Author's Note: At first, I hadn't planned on continuing this, but then I contemplated it, and a few reviews urged me to do so...So, I did. Now, again, I'm at a loss for whether I should continue this because both "chapters" are extremely short, and if I did continue it, there would most likely be only a third chapter, and again I'm not sure if I'd ruin it by continuing it. I'm also not sure if I already did. Anyways, please R&R. I love each and everyone who does so.  
  
Disclaimer: I STILL don't own Pirate's of the Caribbean or it's characters. So, please don't sue me.  
  
Elizabeth Swann was, at the time, in a very different position than Jack had imagined her. Married, she was not, but at the same time she also wasn't alone. She was sitting, perched atop a wooden apparatus in the Blacksmith's shop, which, by now, Will had gained full ownership of. She watched him work, slaving over the burning oar. Her eyes followed the movement of his biceps as he swung his arms over his head, but her mind followed something else.  
  
She felt so guilty. It was impossible to believe that even though she had a gentle man, a kind man - a perfect man standing in front of her and willing to do absolutely anything and everything if only for her sake, she wanted something else. No, her mind cursed at her. You love Will! it said, but she still wasn't convinced. At night she dreamt not of Will but of a certain pirate, one who, no doubt, thought of her as just another woman he's bedded.  
  
It was terrible, she knew, but the night she spent with Jack Sparrow on that island, which should never have happened, changed her heart. She hadn't even slept with Will, for God sakes. But how could she when she knew that she'd only be thinking of Jack? Give up on Jack! She was internally screaming at herself now. He's never coming back!   
  
She buried her head in her hands, frustrated with the emotions, and apparently Will took notice. She should have known he would; he always did.  
  
"What is it?" he asker her, setting his tools down near the fire but not close enough so as to touch it. Elizabeth's head flew up, looking at Will with a far from innocent expression. He wiped his hands on his shirt, which was only just beginning to dampen from his sweat, and he took her hands, holding them in his own.  
  
She stuttered, "Ah, it's nothing, just a headache. That's all." Biting down on her lip, she hated herself for lying to him.  
  
"Perhaps you should travel back to your house and lie down for some time," he offered, tracing his thumb along the back of her hand and making her involuntarily shiver.  
  
Maybe, she thought, he's right. She nodded sullenly and gave him a somewhat awkward hug before hurrying out of the shop, leaving Will staring after her with a somewhat bewildered but definitely love struck expression.  
  
Her feet carried her quickly through Port Royal but they stopped for a moment's time when she passed the docks. Her heart skipped a beat as she checked to see, if, by any chance, the Pearl was anchored there. But as always, it wasn't. She sighed, all hope drained from her face, and she ventured off toward her father's house, where she was still living because it wasn't proper for her to live with Will before they were married, and she had been putting off their marriage for as long as she possibly could. Sure, at first she loved him, wanted to be with him, which was why she acquiesced to his marriage proposal, but after some time passed she came to realize that before doing anything drastic (or stupid) she had to know if Jack felt anything for her.  
  
Now, if she ever found that he did have feelings in return, she would of course be thrilled, but at the same time she wouldn't know what to do. It would all break Will's heart, and she didn't want to do anything of the sort to the boy. She did love him, but she wasn't sure of the manner in which she loved him, or if she just loved Jack more.  
  
She was there, at the front gates to the governor's house. Her pace suddenly slowed as she walked up the cobbled path to the front door. She didn't want to run into her father, or the Commodore, who was probably at her short of humble abode. She snuck around the side of the house and into the side door, the servant's door. It led to a narrow tunnel with a narrow stairway at the end. She had learned of all this as a little girl on one of her imaginary adventures. All those years she had never dreamed she'd actually meet and fall in love with a real life pirate. At the top of the staircase, a door conveniently opened just outside of her own room. She crossed the hallway, hoping that no one saw her, and she entered her room, sure to lock the door behind her.  
  
On the other side of her room there was a rather large window currently covered by drapes. She moved over to it and pulled them open. Sighing, she stared out at the view of the deep blue ocean standing before her.  
  
"Jack," she said to it, "wherever you are, you're driving me insane." 


	3. Jack & Elizabeth

Disclaimer: You guessed it, I still own nothing. I also do not make any profit off of this, incase you were wondering.  
  
Author's Note: Yep, I think this could possibly be the end.  
  
Now, Elizabeth hadn't expected to be answered when she addressed Jack through the sea. So, she was surprised when she was.  
  
"I'm right here, love," came a voice from behind her. Elizabeth spun around and was face to face with Jack. So wrapped up in her thoughts, she must not have noticed him when she had entered the room.  
  
"Jack," Elizabeth said, at a loss of words to have said otherwise. Her cheeks were glowing, and her mind was racing. She took a step in his direction as he did the same.  
  
"Yes?" he answered, his eyebrows sky high and a nearly satisfied grin on his face.  
  
Suddenly, Elizabeth regained her composure and came to her senses. "How did you get in here?"  
  
He looked down, and for a second she thought he was dissapointed. "It isn't all that hard to find the gov'ner's house, deary. I got in the same way you did."  
  
Squinting her eyes, she further shortened the distance between them. Now, she was standing directly in front of him. "Why are you here, Jack?"  
  
"That's a good question," he said more to himself then to her. "I'm not quite sure really. I'm rather confused is all."  
  
"What is it that's confusing you?" He caught the look of concern that clouded her face and thought for a moment that maybe she held sympathy for him after all.  
  
"You." he answered, shuffling his feet as if he were a schoolboy.  
  
"Me? Why, Jack, I haven't even said a thing!"  
  
"Maybe not today, but..." He neglected to finish the sentence, and instead he paused. "Where is your beloved Will?"  
  
"Will is in his shop," she said, staring into his eyes while trying to gain courage to say what she said next, "but I cannot call him as my beloved."  
  
Jack glanced at her left hand before responding. "Elizabeth, it is perfectly all right to call him as much if you aren't married yet."  
  
She bit her lip. "Jack, why are you here?" she asked again.  
  
"I-I-I-" he stuttered. He wasn't supposed to have stuttered. Clearly frustrated, his eyes widdened and his tongue rolled about in his mouth. "I think," he formed the words slowly in his mouth. "No, actually I'm quite sure. I'm in love with you." He smiled, satisfied. Now, that wasn't so hard. At least he didn't have to give her that pansy letter he had written. It really was a pansy letter.  
  
Elizabeth's heart jumped and a smile formed on her face, but just as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone. "No, Jack." She shook her head. "Don't say that. You don't love me."  
  
"Uh," he nodded making a wide gesture with his entire right arm, "yes, I do."  
  
"You can't. Things are complicated as it is." She looked at him, her eyes desperately pleading with his soul. "Don't make me choose. I don't want to hurt him."  
  
Hoping beyond all hopes that he didn't have to further plead his case, Jack clung to her last words. "Hurt him? You mean me? Eh, you?"  
  
"Hurt Will!" she hissed and threw a clammy hand to her head.  
  
Not quite sure he wanted to ask his next question, Jack cocked his head to the side. "Does that mean you...love me too?"  
  
Her reply was soft and quiet. "Perhaps." He felt like dancing, but that wouldn't have been appropriate since he had already gone against another, one of the more important rules of being Captain Jack Sparrow and had fallen in love.  
  
"I came here thinking you'd deny me," he told her, "but I knew if I didn't come, I'd probably kill myself to stop my mind from torturing me. I needed to know if I had to move on." Was he actually saying these words? He had never had to move on past anything in his life, and he wasn't about to change that. He had also vowed not to love another besides the Pearl, but then again, he wasn't a man of his word anymore, was he?  
  
Elizabeth wondered if she was going to end up denying Jack after all. She had promised herself to Will, but could she really live a life with him while knowing she didn't even give her feelings for Jack a chance. Will would have to understand. He loved her, didn't he? He'd do anything to make her happy, and her being with Jack would do just that. And then there was also her father. It was hard enough for him to accept her love for Will. He'd never see her with a scoundrel, a pirate. So, she decided, they could sail away together on the Pearl. Her father would have to understand then, and he couldn't stop her either.  
  
Her eyes watered while she looked to Jack for something of a sign, but she realized that he had already given her signs enough. He had said that he loved her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he smiled while pulling her closer to him. They stood, holding each other in silence for some time, pondering what would come next in their life together on the high seas.  
  
--  
  
Author's Note: You know, I'm not so happy with that ending. Kinda cut short...hmm...grrr...I'll figure out something, either by replacing the chapter with a new one or continuing it after all. 


End file.
